Today, I had to cross two people off my Prayer For Healing prayer list. Not because they were healed, but because they had passed away.
I have had a really rough couple weeks on the inside in my heart of hearts, and it just didn't seem like it was getting better. It isn't because I'm upset that God didn't heal them, or even that I'm discouraged or baffled. I'm just sad. I'm sad about a lot of things in this world.
I'm sad that evil wins a lot. I'm sad that holiness and righteousness in on the decline. I'm sad when I realize that I am just one small person who probably isn't going to be able to change the world. I know this may sound awfully negative, but the sadness I feel cannot even compare to what God must feel.
What must our Father in heaven feel? He hates sin, sickness, and disease, surely He is upset when the righteous pass on due to it. Surely He hates when wicked people mistreat the just. The boiling of His anger and sadness I cannot begin to try to comprehend. I use to think the president of the United States was a busy guy flooded with all the problems of the nations, think about what our Father in heaven is flooded with. and yet He continues to stay involved in my life.
He is so involved in the details of my life, it's not even fair how He cares for me. It's so underserved that He paid a price for me at all. Even today, I reflect on all the tiny details of my life He completely orchestrated. The miracle of it all...
Oh, His kindness. Oh, His Mercy.
"I Look into Your eyes of mercy... I remember that Your heart is for me..."
Jon Thurlow chorus
I just encourage you to tune into the OneThing Conference happening right now in Kansas City, you can watch for free here: http://www.ihop.org/onething/